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Being a hockey mom just BEGS to be written about so when my daughter strapped on the goalie pads, I picked up the pen. Since then I have been blogging rink-to-rink keeping the world of youth hockey real AND real funny. 

Through the highs, the lows, and the all-consuming hockey stink, us parents need to stick together!

Hockey Moms Night (or Day) Out vs Real Life

Hockey Moms Night (or Day) Out vs Real Life

From this years hockey moms night out. Faces have been blurred to protect the innocent...and the tipsy.

From this years hockey moms night out. Faces have been blurred to protect the innocent...and the tipsy.

What do you think of when you think of a girls lunch or night out? Talk of fashion, the kids, jobs, significant others, gossip? In a hockey mom lunch/night out, most of the same topics apply however with a little twist. The game of hockey.

First of all you could probably schedule an event with Beyonce easier than you can with another (or heaven help you, several) hockey moms. Between three to four times a week practice, games, and out-of-state tournaments you almost need to have Doc Brown's Delorean to make it work. A flux capacitor would really come in handy. 

Even when you do narrow it down to a a time and place you will probably need to reschedule at least once. There is always something going on that will disrupt the space time continuum. And it's usually hockey. 

So, why do it then? Why not just throw in the towel and keep up with them via Facebook? Why? Sanity, that's why! The season is long and hard and the only people that truly get it (because even your player doesn't) is your tribe, your brethren, your fellow women warriors of the planet ice rink, your hockey mom friends. Your "real life" friends will try to empathize but they don't truly know the pain of a four day tournament, the cost of new leg pads because your goalie decided to grow half an inch or so and how difficult it's been to find the "right" goalie coach.

So, if and when you are lucky enough to finally get it together, this how those above mentioned topics will break down.

Jobs - conversations surrounding how your boss doesn't understand that three to four times a year you have to those long weekend for tournaments and yes, there really IS a game in town that starts at 1pm making it necessary to leave early. You aren't just sloughing off.

Partners - Either they care too much or too little, except for my husband who is just about perfect except for his obscenely loud "WHOO" when she makes a great save, but I digress. Long hockey conversations in the car, coaching from the sidelines OR the pendulum swings the other way,  they can't take your player to practice because of work or misses games due to appointments.

Fashion - Needing a new coat because you snagged your favorite one on something at the rink and now it has a huge hole. This conversation is made even weirder if you live in a southwestern state like Arizona. The association decided to change their logo so now I have to replace my sweatshirt...or just call it vintage, that works. How can you wear sandals to the rink? Aren't you afraid of frostbite or getting a toe cut off?  

Kids - All hockey. Who will be playing for next season? Do they like the coach? So-and-so's kid has gotten so much faster. Who has the best power skating clinics? That kid is really mean and talks trash on the ice during games. Why won't my kid hit? Why won't my goalie play the puck behind the net (that one is me) Every once in a while someone sneaks in something about grades, other extracurriculars (what?) or the fact that one of the siblings can't keep their room clean but it always goes back to hockey.

Gossip - Not Kardashian's latest shenanigans but rink shenanigans. Did you hear about the mom who got drunk at a tournament and slept with the coach? I hear that so-and-so isn't coming back next year. Poor so-and-so got hurt and has to miss the rest of the season. Kim and crew have nothing on what is going on in the local hockey association.

With all THAT to discuss it's no wonder we never get around to movies, music, books or anything else. I guess that is why you have your "real life" friends. You can at least enjoy those non-hockey topics around them keeping you from dissolving into a hockey hot mess.

One all your friends might have in common? They usually aren't afraid to throw back a little wine...

Do you get together outside the rink with your hockey gal pals? Girls night out? Lunch? Tell me about it!  

From last year's hockey mom night out. Only a few faces have changed in this one! 

From last year's hockey mom night out. Only a few faces have changed in this one! 

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