For any normal hockey mom sending their kid off to a weekend tournament with a chaperone or other parent is no big deal. Rite of passage. Not out of the ordinary.
But for those of us with control issues, it’s just not that easy. As previously lamented in another post (insert) I have some control issues. Or perhaps it’s just separation anxiety. Not for her mind you, but for me.
Because sometimes it IS all about me.
I won’t be there if she has a rough game and needs her wounds licked.
I won’t be there if she has a good game to bask in the glow with her.
I won’t be there if, god forbid, she gets hurt.
My first instinct was to sit her down and go over, minute-by-minute, the agenda and dictate when she should call or text, what information I wanted to hear, when she should take her allergy meds, what to eat, what to drink and how long to rest. Even as I am writing this, I realize how crazy it sounds. So I fell back on some great advice I got a long time ago.
We are raising our children to leave us.
How can I expect her to grow, make her own decisions (good and bad) and be ready to leave me when I can’t even put her on a bus to New Mexico for a weekend without wanting to control every minute of the trip?
I ignored the instinct, threw the agenda out the window and employed a little 5 letter word..trust. I trust that she will mostly do the right things, that she will let me know how the games go and I trust that her team will be there to lick wounds and celebrate with her.
So today, as she stepped on that bus, the only thing I told her was to have fun, be safe and that I loved her.
Isn't that all she really needs?
Well that, and some money for food.